Traveling with children is very stressful for parents, but teenagers with flight anxiety can add to the fear for mum and dad – not to mention other passengers.
Travel anxiety and fear of flying are very common in children, Dr. Katie Hurley, vice president of community affairs at The Jed Foundation (JED), explained to The Post.
He said: “While some children may feel happy—especially if they’re heading toward a destination they’ve been looking forward to—walking can be difficult, tiring, and even overstimulating for others.
Traveling disrupts a child’s normal routine, which can make them feel unsettled, and airports and airplanes bring unusual, sometimes extreme emotions.
Between the long waits, crowded stations, loud airplane engines, and all the unexpected, kids can become very stressed or upset. With some of the TSA wait times due to the current government shutdown, there’s also plenty of time for anxiety to build — and then let go with a thud.
When a child is afraid of flying, their cortisol levels rise, which can make them “anxious, moody, hyperactive — and yes, sometimes awesome,” Sara Chana Silverstein, who works with children’s health, told The Post.
“No judgement—we’ve all been there at 30,000 feet,” he quipped.
“By recognizing that these actions are caused by discomfort or anxiety – not bad behavior – parents can better support their children and create a manageable, encouraging travel experience,” Hurley added.
Young children, especially, may not have the words to express their fear. Instead, the fear of flying can manifest itself in other behaviors such as irritability, excessive crying, or being quieter than usual.
There may also be physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shortness of breath or stomach ache. It may seem like the child is acting out and “angry” – but in reality, they are scared or anxious.
“These behaviors are not just bad behavior, but signs that the child is feeling overwhelmed or unstable,” Hurley said.
Silverstein added that for children under 5, in particular, “having fun is normal — they’re not trying to trick you; their minds are still being built.”
For children who have never been on a plane before, the fear can be heightened due to the unfamiliar sounds, sights and environment in general. In those cases, Hurley told The Post, it is important for parents to recognize and affirm their child’s feelings, even if they are not expressed directly in words.
“Providing encouragement, keeping a schedule where possible, and approaching the experience with patience can make a big difference in helping kids feel more secure,” said Hurley, author of the upcoming book “Breaking the Boy Code: The New Playbook for Raising Resilient Boys.”
Another way to help reduce anxiety in advance is to describe what is about to happen, either by walking through it or using a tangible asset. Hurley noted that it is important to meet children where they are in their development, to answer questions in age-appropriate language.
Parents can also tell their children every step that will be taken from leaving home to getting on the plane, Silverstein said. Since children love to play, it can be useful to set up an “airport” at home before the trip and take the child’s dolls or stuffed animals into the “trip”.
For young children, Sesame Workshop offers tools that can help children deal with fears that parents may download early. Reading picture books about travel and pointing out small details can help children build confidence. For older children, parents can review the plan and give them practical information, such as safety instructions, what to do in an emergency, or where to go if they get separated at the airport.
“Kids feel calmer when they know what to expect,” Silverstein explained.
Practicing breathing techniques early on, “especially before anyone feels stressed,” can help children learn to slow down during stressful times. Square breathing — inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for a count of four, hold for four, while tracing a square in the palm of your hand — is one technique, Hurley said.
For younger children, “teddy bear breathing” or “belly breathing” may work. Lie on the floor and place the stuffed animal on its stomach, breathe slowly through the nose to try to get the stuffed animal to flow into the stomach, then exhale slowly to return it to the floor.
Putting together an “anxiety tool” designed specifically for your child can help throughout the journey, Hurley added. The goal is to fill it with things that appeal to all five senses, and it can include anything comfortable or familiar:
- Cheat: Things like a stress ball, stuffed animal or stuffed animal, fidget spinner, silly putty or something cool.
- See: A small book, a small coloring book, pictures, a toy kaleidoscope, or play the “I Spy” game
- Smell Essential oil, fruit, car refresher
- Hear: Playlist, audiobook, podcast, guided meditation
- Taste: Sour candies, peppermint wax, snacks, mints, snacks with sweet memories
When Silverstein travels with her children, her simple, secret weapon is a variety of “love notes,” in which she writes to each child about how special they are, using colored paper that she cuts into fun shapes.
“Barriers aren’t just a good idea — they save lives,” he advised.
For older children, my parents encourage them to make a list of things to look for in their bags that will help them stay comfortable throughout the trip.
While at the airport, Silverstein recommends pointing out all the other kids there to promote a normal air travel experience.
Notice their bags, their happiness and their smiles. Help your child see that flying is something that children all over the world do every day.”
During a flight, turbulence can be uncomfortable for children and adults alike, so parents should acknowledge their feelings, rather than dismiss them, letting them know that turbulence is a normal part of flying, Hurley said.
It may sound simple, but Silverstein stressed making sure the child has eaten a solid, nutritious meal and is hydrated before leaving. In his book, “Moodtopia for Kids: Nurturing Emotional Wellness with Nature’s Remedies,” he explained how even mild dehydration can lead to emotional breakdown.
“Together, these strategies help children feel heard, supported, and better equipped to deal with the challenges of travel,” she said.
Although it can be difficult to see your child in pain, it is important for parents to remain calm, Hurley warned. Children pay attention to their body language and tone of voice, so being in a controlled environment can help children feel safe.
Silverstein added that in his experience, very young children are often not as afraid of flying as their parents and caregivers – and children can see that, triggering their anxiety.
He said: “These are good detectives of emotions.
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